Then, when words were unnecessary, and now, they're not enough.

I wasn't scared of messing things up with you.
Maybe I should have been.
And although I have accused you of giving up,
It is me that dominoed.
You never accused me, but I feel like I know.
But then again, I don't. 
Cause when you told me you're sorry,
I felt like I should be too.
I just didn't know for what all I ought to plead guilty.
Today, when we speak, I try hard to understand what you're really saying.
You speak one word,
And although, there was a time when that would have been unnecessary.
Today it is not enough.
I don't blame you for no longer speaking your mind.
I understand. I do it too.
There is so much we missed out on.
There is so much we misunderstood.
There is so much we can't talk about.
There is so much that we hide.
I know you love me. I love you too.
These are the things I know.
How I hope I had remained in your life.
And with just as much ease.
I wished resisting speaking my mind wasn't just as difficult as speaking, all the same.
I know I had you scared and you're trying.
And I wish you didn't have to.
That wasn't how it was.
But that is all that we can do, now.
Because when you can't really talk and you can't ever let go,
How else do you remain anything to one another at all?
Why was it so easy? 
Do you also not understand me these days?
Do you not know, as well?
Do you feel scared too?
Do you stop yourself from sharing, at times?
Does anything in your day remind you of me, anymore?
You ask me not to blame myself.
You stop me the moment I start.
I was too confident.
And then I was too less.
I know you love me. I love you too.
Those are the things I know.
But I'm writing about this and not telling you.
Again, it is the end of the day.
Tell me the bits that you wish to. And the parts you remember.
I will make small talk too.